Are You a Controlling Person?

There is nothing wrong when a person, (as they say), “Takes the bull by the horns.” Some people are just born leaders, but there are those who just want to control others and many times it leads to abuse. 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines abuse as behaviors that a person uses to maintain power and control over another individual. These behaviors may arise in intimate relationships but also appear in the workplace, family relationships, and friendships. Controlling behaviors may occur in several forms of abuse, including: Physical abuse: Any unwanted contact from someone who has the intention of causing another person injury is physical abuse. Emotional and verbal abuse: This comes in the form of nonphysical behavior, such as insulting or threatening someone, constantly monitoring them, or trying to humiliate them. Sexual abuse: Behaviors constitute sexual abuse if they pressure or force people into a sexual activity in which they do not want to engage. Financial abuse: This occurs when someone attempts to control a person’s financial situation. Digital abuse: This form of abuse uses technology, such as texting and social media, to harass or intimidate someone. Stalking: Stalking happens when someone watches or follows a person constantly, making them feel unsafe. Here are some examples of abusive behaviors that someone may use to exert control over an individual may include: slapping, punching, kicking, biting, choking, scratching, or trying to smother a person, throwing objects at them, or pulling their hair threatening to use weapons against them, such as knives, bats, or firearms forcing them to use alcohol or drugs, preventing them from leaving the home or forcing them to go somewhere, calling them names, yelling or screaming at them, and criticizing them to break down their confidence, humiliating them in front of other people, or using online communities to intimidate or embarrass them, acting in a possessive manner with a partner, not trusting them, and frequently accusing them of cheating, demanding to know how they spend their time, where they go, and who they have contact with, isolating them from seeing family and friends, blaming them for their abusive behaviors, or telling them everything is their fault, manipulating or forcing them into having sex or performing sexual acts, giving them an allowance and monitoring their purchases, depositing paychecks to a bank account they cannot access, stopping them from going to work by taking away their mode of transport, stating who they can or cannot follow, or speak with on social media using social media, or GPS technology to track their activities, pressuring them to send compromising or explicit messages, photos, or videos, constantly messaging them and making them feel as though they cannot be away from their phone, sending them unwanted messages, emails, texts, voicemails, and letters showing up at their home or workplace uninvited. You can read more at The National Domestic Violence Hotline.

If you are a controlling person, seek help! Call the hotline above 24/7 via: phone, at 800-799-7233. live chat,

at If you feel you are in immediate danger either call 911.

If you or someone you know is going through a crisis visit the “First Aid Kit” on this website.

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