When A House Is Not A Home

There are about 18.3 million children who live without a father in the home. That’s like about 1 in 4 children in the US. 80% of single parent homes are run by single mothers. 40% of children are born to unwed mothers. This is a very sad situation. When a husband and a wife call it quits, it’s the children who suffer the most. Children need their mother for sure, but when a father dies, or a couple get divorced, or for any  other reason a house is without a father it leaves a home unprotected in so many ways. The children become vulnerable to many things growing up. In the early 1960’s  Burt Bacharach and Hal David wrote a song called “A House is Not a Home ” for a movie of the same name. Some of the lines go like this: “A chair is still a chair, even when there’s no one sittin’ there, but a chair is not a house and a house is not a home when there’s no one there to hold you tight and no one there you can kiss goodnight. A room is still a room, oh, even when there’s nothin’ there but gloom but a room is not a house and a house is not a home when the two of us are far apart and one of us has a broken heart.” Yes, it is hard on the mother when there is no father. She becomes lonely and her loneliness comes upon the children. Now she must be mother and father to her children. Many mothers have been able to accomplish this task, and even managed to raise successful children, but more times than not, the children become victims caused by the void of a father in the home. But the children have to help their mother. If there is no father figure in the house, hanging with the gangs isn’t the answer. Is this your idea of a father?  Drugs, alcohol, in and out of trouble with the law, is this your idea of a father? A father is to train up his children in the way they should go. He is to have compassion for his children. Fathers are not to provoke their children to anger, but set an example of love.  A father is to discipline his children out of love. And fathers are to lead their children to the knowledge of the Lord, and never stop teaching them even when they are sitting in their homes, or when they are walking along the road, and even before they go to bed and when they wake in the morning. A father has a big responsibility to pass on his knowledge and experiences to his children. He is supposed to raise his boys to be men, and teach them how to respect women. If you are one of those children who are being raised without a father, know this, you are not alone. Your Creator, your heavenly Father, is watching over you. He loves you and cares about you. Yes, you may think otherwise, but it is true. You will see one day that what you are going through will allow you to teach your children with compassion and love. It will teach you how to handle many of life’s problems, if you are willing to learn, and one day when you are teaching your children, or even, other children who may not have a father, you will be thankful that your childhood was what it was. Yes, it’s hard to believe, but many people grew up in homes like yours and they made something of themselves, because they did not look at themselves as victims, feeling sorry for themselves but it actually made them stronger in their character and more determined to make something of themselves.  You will be able to relate to others, because you have lived and experienced what other children are going through. There is no better teacher than one who teaches from experience. Go to God and tell Him everything, and you will see that God is your father and your friend and He loves you. And as you grow older you will see the love that He put in your heart, if you let Him, and you will go out and touch other lives. You will be a father to the fatherless. How great is that? Turn to God because He is with you through it all.

Find a church that has activities for kids. Find a Big Brother and Big Sister organization or maybe an uncle or aunt, someone who will have a positive influence on you and one day you will feel so blessed and thankful that you will say, I wouldn’t have had it any other way! It’s all up to you.

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